Thursday, 8 October 2009

i'm in college now :)

have been for 4 weeks

oh, it's terribly overwhelming actually, i haven't been in proper education for years and years and i'm getting so much howework to do.

we have 2 full days of knitting machining on monday and tuesday, which is pretty greuling like, and i spend a lot of time swearing at the machines cos they're awfully finickity things and they drop stitches at the slightest provocation, at least they do for me anyway.

and then on wednesday i've been having to paint, and i can't paint to save my life. never mind. we're onto pattern cutting and sewing now and that's much better.

we don't have weave for another few months yet though, so i've got the lend of a table loom off the weave techinician and gonna make a scarf for my friend's birthday.


anyway, sorry for the extended absence, which reminds me of a joke

man goes to the doctor

man: i've got a problem doctor, it's a bit embarassing to tell truth

doctor: well, there's no need to be embarassed in front of me, anything said here won't leave this room

man: well, it's like this, for the past week or so everytime i've farted it's sounded awfully strange

doctor: well, maybe you could demonstrate for me?

man screws his face up with effort, assumes wrestlers stance

man: eeeeh, urrgh (strain, struggle, etc) . . . HONDA!

doctor: well, that is curious, does this happen everytime you fart?

man: yes, i'm the laughing stock of the office

doctor: has there been any change in your lifestyle or diet recently?

man: well, my wife left me last week and she always did the cooking so i've mainly been living off ready meals and pot noodles, i don't know how to cook for myself

doctor: hmmm, well i have a theory, if you could just drop your trousers so i can examine you?

man: ok then (drops keks)

doctor: hmm (shuffle, peer, probe and so on), well, i think i my have found the issue here, there's an absess on your left buttock, if you put your trousers back on i'll give you a cream that'll clear it up, i think you'll find you'll be farting normally in a matter of days

man: what? (shuffles back into keks) but that's ridiculous, what on earth could an abcess have to do with the sound of my farts?

doctor: well, it's like the old saying goes . .
"Abcess makes the fart go HONDA!"

good eh?

oh come on now, it's not that bad.

really, some people don't know when they're in the precense of a comedic genius